How to stop worrying whether people like you?

One of the most acute questions we ask ourselves in relation to new friends and acquaintances is whether or not they like us. The question feels so significant because, depending on how we answer it in our minds, we will either take steps to deepen the friendship or, as is often the case, immediately make moves to withdraw from it so as to spare ourselves humiliation and embarrassment.

But what is striking and sad is how essentially passive we are in relation to this enquiry. We assume that there is a more or less binary answer, that it is wholly in the remit of the other person to settle it – and that there is nothing much we could do to shift the verdict one way or the other. Either someone wants to be our friend – or they don’t – and the answer, while it is about us, is essentially disconnected from any of our own initiatives.

The link below will connect you to a video produced by the School of Life on just this topic. The aim of it is to help you understand the complexities of our early meetings with people and how we can influence the outcomes unwittingly.

Click here to view the video

EMDR Processing Explained

This is a thorough explanation of EMDR processing and what you can expect if you decide to take up this kind of therapy.

In this episode, Marie-Chantal Moll-Vignes, Clinical Audiologist & Tinnitus Specialist chats to Heather Cuffe, Trauma Clinical Lead for the NHS Trust, EMDR practitioner & CBT Psychotherapist.

Heather answers questions about EMDR, a type of trauma therapy, that works to heal stored trauma within the mind, and subsequently the body, and works to reduce overall psychological and somatic stress. This may be helpful to those who have experienced Trauma in their lives, and live with chronic health conditions that are exacerbated by stress stored within the mind and body.

Although in the context of therapy for PTSD and the symptoms of tinnitus that can be experienced for some as a consequence of trauma. The explanation of EMDR is clinically thorough and a true representation of EMDR as therapy.

Click here to view the 30 minute video

Listening to Shame

Shame is an unspoken epidemic, the secret behind many forms of broken behaviour. Brené Brown, whose earlier talk on vulnerability became a viral hit, explores what can happen when people confront their shame head-on. Her own humour, humanity and vulnerability shine through every word.

Brené  Brown, researcher and storyteller shares what’s she has learnt about shame through her research and studies.

Click here to listen to Brené  Brown

About Dissociation

What are dissociative disorders? Dissociative disorders are when an individual feels as if they’re outside they’re own body.

This short video is very information and gives clear information and description of dissociation and dissociative disorders.

Click here to view the video

A poem for someone awakening to the trauma of his or her past …

For everything under the sun there is a time.

This is the season of your awkward harvesting,

When the pain takes you where you would rather not go,

Through the white curtain of yesterdays to a place

You had forgotten you knew from the inside out;

And a time when that bitter tree was planted

That has grown always invisibly beside you

And whose branches your awakened hands

Now long to disentangle from your heart.

You are coming to see how your looking often darkened

When you should have felt safe enough to fall toward love,

How deep down your eyes were always owned by something

That faced them through a dark fester of thorns

Converting whoever came into a further figure of the wrong;

You could only see what touched you as already torn.

Now the act of seeing begins your work of mourning.

And your memory is ready to show you everything,

Having waited all these years for you to return and know.

Only you know where the casket of pain is interred. 

You will have to scrape through all the layers of covering

And according to your readiness, everything will open. 

May you be blessed with a wise and compassionate guide

Who can accompany you through the fear and grief

Until your heart has wept its way to your true self.

As your tears fall over that wounded place,

May they wash away your hurt and free your heart.

May your forgiveness still the hunger of the wound

So that for the first time you can walk away from that place, 

Reunited with your banished heart, now healed and freed,

And feel the clear, free air bless your new face. 

John O’Donohue – To Bless The Space Between Us: A book of blessings

What is EMDR

EMDR Stands for Eye Movement Desensitisation Reprocessing.

EMDR is a trauma treatment that enables you to process difficult memories that have become stuck and cause you distress. there is a lot of ways in which EMDR can help. follow the link below for a brief overview of EMDR Therapy.

Click here for the video link

All About You offers EMDR therapy. Contact Kim if you would like to know more.